One of my colleagues recently shared this reading with me (combining scriptures from 
1 Corinthians 13 and 1 John 4).
GOD IS LOVE
May you have His kind of love for each other.
LOVE IS PATIENT AND KIND
May you be able to lovingly overlook each other’s faults and weaknesses.
LOVE IS NOT JEALOUS OR BOASTFUL
May you seek praise for each other and not for yourselves.
LOVE IS NOT ARROGANT OR RUDE
May you give of yourselves for each other’s needs and treat one another with utmost respect.
LOVE DOES NOT INSIST ON ITS OWN WAY
May you genuinely listen to each other with a willingness to be wrong yourselves
.
LOVE IS NOT IRRITABLE OR RESENTFUL
May you be tolerant of each other’s moods, always ready to forgive, never holding a grudge.
LOVE DOES NOT REJOICE AT WRONG BUT REJOICES IN THE RIGHT
May you experience happiness because of each other’s triumphs and successes.
LOVE BEARS ALL THINGS
May you seek to understand each other’s differences, knowing you will stick together through it all
.
LOVE HOPES ALL THINGS
May you always expect the best in each situation, regardless of temporary setbacks.
LOVE ENDURES ALL THINGS
May you never give up your commitment to work on improving your relationship.
LOVE NEVER ENDS
May you spend the rest of your lives together enjoying His love.
GOD IS LOVE
Last evening I attended the Association for Wedding Professionals International‘s annual “Recognition Gala,” held at the Aerospace Museum of California. The gala is an opportunity to recognize those members who help make the Sacramento chapter of AfWPI a successful organization.
Just like the Oscars and Golden Globes, there were many awards categories. Some recipients are chosen by the AfWPI Board, but two of the awards — Mixer of the Year and Professional of the Year — are based on the vote of the membership.
And the winners are …
Volunteer of the Year: Jennifer Baker of Enchanted Bridal Shoppe;
Distinguished Service Award: Shelton’s Wedding Cake Designs AND Capital Confections;
Team Spirit Award: Rent-Rite – The Party People;
President’s Award: Joan Pennebaker (of Beautiful By Nature); and
Mixer of the year (which includes the venue, caterer, florist, DJ/MC and photographer): David Girard Vineyards.
As the final award, Professional of the Year, was ready to be presented, Board Members Rick Francis and Kami Storz read the following description:
“This is the person members feel is a leader in the industry and sets an example for others to follow, is successful as a wedding professional, helps other wedding professionals in their successes and exemplifies the ethics and good business practices of a professional.”
And then my name was called.
I was completely surprised, and I am greatly honored to be named AfWPI’s “2011 Professional of the Year.”
I am so grateful to be able to do work that I love, and to work with other dedicated wedding professionals.
So my acceptance speech was simple: “Thank You!”
In gratitude,
Rev. Jeri
I am reading a book, by Mitch Albom, called “Have a Little Faith.” Much of the book is about his conversations with his aging rabbi, Albert Lewis [“the Reb”], who has asked Mitch to give the eulogy when the time comes. So, of course, Mitch is learning more about the Reb’s life.
Tonight the Reb is talking about marriage. (He and his wife, Sarah, have been married for over 60 years, so he could probably be considered an expert!) His words moved me, and I want to share them.
“I think people expect too much from marriage today,” he said. “They expect perfection. Every moment should be bliss. That’s TV or movies. But that is not the human experience.”
“The trick is when things aren’t so great, you don’t junk the whole thing. It’s okay to have an argument. It’s okay that the other one nudges you a little, bothers you a little. It’s part of being close to someone.
“But the joy you get from that same closeness – when you watch your children, when you wake up and smile at each other – that, as our tradition teaches us, is a blessing. People forget that.”
Why do they forget it?
“Because the word ‘commitment’ has lost its meaning. I’m old enough to remember when it used to be a positive. A committed person was someone to be admired. He was loyal and steady. Now a commitment is something you avoid. You don’t want to tie yourself down.
“… real commitment? That requires staying power.”
And if you don’t commit?
“Your choice. But you miss what’s on the other side.”
What’s on the other side?
“Ah.” He smiled. “A happiness you cannot find alone.”
Earlier today, I performed the wedding ceremony for Joe and Angela. I watched their eyes, as they repeated their vows to each other, and I could see the deep commitment they have for each other.
As they repeated their vows – “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, ‘til death do us part” – I could see, with certainty, that they meant every word.
I could see the love.
I could see the commitment.
Congratulations, newlyweds Joe and Angela!
May your love grow stronger and deeper with each passing year.
May joy and delight fill your home.
May every blessing be yours.
And may you reach a ripe old age together ….
When Kellie and Paul got married in May they wanted to include their guests in a very special way, by incorporating a “ring warming” ritual in their ceremony.
Their wedding rings were placed in a special box and given to the best man to hold. After repeating their vows to each other, Kellie and Paul asked that their bridal party and immediate family offer a blessing on their rings.
The best man held the box, holding one hand over it in blessing, and silently thought of his good wishes for Paul and Kellie. The box was then passed down the line of groomsmen, who each blessed the rings. This ritual continued as the family members and then the bridesmaids offered their blessing.
While the rings were being passed, I asked all of the guests to silently express a wish or prayer for the couple, for their marriage and their future together. “Your positive thoughts and energies will bless these simple objects of metal with more than just the hopes and dreams of the Paul and Kellie. As they wear them on their fingers from now on, these rings will also hold the blessings of their family and friends.”
Watching their rings being blessed and passed was certainly a touching experience for Paul and Kellie, as they could clearly see the love expressed by the participants.
Congratulations, Paul and Kellie. May you always feel blessed!
Rev. Jeri
(For other ideas about including your guests, please see my article on page 48 of the Winter/Spring 2012 issue of Real Weddings Magazine.)
(Photo by Donahue Photography)
Amanda and Ricardo met in January of 2009 while he was home for the holidays, on leave from his studies at the ASBC in Alabama.
They were playing board games at the home of a mutual friend, and enjoyed talking and flirting a little with each other. Amanda thought Ricardo was cute; he was attracted to her laid-back demeanor and her sense of humor. So a few weeks later they connected online, eventually exchanged phone numbers, and slowly got to know each other.
Since he was stationed in Texas, while she lived and worked in Sacramento, Amanda and Ricardo were only able to spend time together every two or three months. For more than a year theirs was a long-distance relationship, causing them to really get to know each other, and to cherish the time they could spend together.
When Ricardo was finally transferred to Sacramento their relationship grew and deepened – becoming, as Amanda describes it, “rock solid,”– and they realized they wanted to share the rest of their lives together.
So he proposed, she said “Yes!” and on Sunday, September 25, 2011, before family and dear friends, they were married at the beautiful Monte Verde Inn in Foresthill.
During the ceremony, the guests were asked if they would support the important institution of marriage and, more specifically, the happiness and success of Amanda and Ricardo’s union, through the highs and lows of their life together. There was a resounding “We do” in response!
Amanda and Ricardo further included their guests by asking them to sign a beautiful Quaker Wedding Certificate, which Amanda purchased from a company in Ohio called Calligraphica.
The certificate was inscribed with their wedding vows, and will undoubtedly be hung prominently in their home as a reminder of the declarations they made, and of the people with whom they shared that moment of their lives.
Congratulations, Amanda and Ricardo! May you always be each other’s best friend and greatest love!
Blessings,
Rev. Jeri
I often forget these moments of insight.
I want to share this one, from a recent journal entry:
“Right now, I find myself aspiring to be the person my friends think I am. Their ‘approval’ is my motivation. They are ‘singing my song’ for me. … Thank you, God.”
And thank you, my friends who recognize themselves in this writing. I love you, and I appreciate you.
xoxoxo
RJM
First, the Disclaimer:
I am not an attorney, nor am I an officer of any court of law. The post below does not purport to provide legal advice. The personnel at the Clerk-Recorder’s office will not provide legal advice. The following is informational only.
Also, in this post I use the terms “Bride” and “Groom.” When same-sex marriages are again legal in California, the correct terms may be “Party A” and “Party B” – without reference to gender.
The term “Clerk” also refers to “Clerk-Recorder.” (Some counties use the term “Clerk,” others use “Clerk-Recorder.”)
Whew. Now that I’ve got the legalese out of the way …
In California, one of the most important pre-wedding tasks is getting a Marriage License.
While each county has its own prices, hours of operation, website, etc., listed below is some basic information which is applicable throughout California.
- Marriage Licenses are good for 90 calendar days.
- Both Bride and Groom must appear in person to purchase the license.
- You do not have to be a resident of California in order to get married in California
- You must present photo ID (Driver’s license or passport) when purchasing a Marriage License
- No blood test is required.
Bride and Groom both sign the Marriage License, under penalty of perjury, at the Clerk-Recorder’s office.
There is no waiting or “cool-down” period after the license is issued. It’s valid and ready to be used when you walk out the door of the Clerk’s office.
There are two types of licenses: Public and Confidential.
A Public Marriage License can be purchased anywhere in California, and it can be used anywhere in California.
It requires at least one but no more than two witnesses.
As a public record, anyone who would like to view it can do so. (For instance, genealogists, salespeople, etc.)
A Confidential Marriage License MUST be purchased in the county where it will be used. (For instance, if you’re getting married at Wilson Vineyards in Clarksburg, and you plan to get a Confidential Marriage License, you must purchase it at the Yolo County Clerk-Recorder’s office.)
No witnesses are required for a Confidential Marriage License; the Officiant is the only person who signs it.
After the ceremony has been performed and the license has been signed by the witnesses (if applicable), the Officiant signs the license and files it in the county where it was purchased.
Once the license has been filed and recorded, either the Bride or the Groom can request an “authorized” copy of the license in order to begin the Name Change process with Social Security, DMV, etc.
Further information for each county can be found online.
Listed below are some of the local County Clerk’s offices, with some of their pertinent information.
While it’s not always necessary to make an appointment ahead of time, I suggest that you call ahead and confirm hours of operation, cost, method of payment, and whether an appointment is suggested.
And remember, county offices are not open on weekends or holidays.
Sacramento County Clerk-Recorder: (916) 874-6131; 600 8th Street, Sacramento, CA 95814; Hours 8:00 – 5:00 p.m.; Thurs. 5:20– 7:20 p.m. by appointment only (slightly higher prices)
Sacramento County Clerk-Recorder – Fair Oaks office: (916) 874-7850; 5229 Hazel Ave., Suite B, Fair Oaks, CA 95628; Hours 9:00 – 4:00 Daily (NO evening appointments)
Yolo County Clerk-Recorder: (530) 666-8130; 625 Court St., Room 105, Woodland, CA 95695; Hours: 8:00 – 4:00 p.m.
Placer County Clerk-Recorder: (530) 886-5600; 2954 Richardson Dr., Auburn, CA 95603; Hours: 8:00 – 4:00 p.m.
El Dorado County Clerk-Recorder: (530) 621-5495 – Appointment required; 360 Fair Lane, Bldg. B, Placerville, CA 95667; Hours: 8:00 – 5:00 p.m.
San Joaquin County Recorder / Clerk: (209) 468-3939; 44 N. San Joaquin Street, Suite 260, Stockton, CA 95202; Hours: 8:00 – 4:00 p.m.
Congratulations!
Rev. Jeri
A few days ago I began reading a book, Return to the Sacred by Jonathan H. Ellerby, Ph.D., and yesterday I had an ‘ah-ha” moment.
I want to be mindful of seeing “God” or the “Sacred” in my life. In large ways and in small details. And photography has become a passion of mine. So I decided to consciously seek the sacred in my life, every day, and try to capture it in a photo.
And share it on Facebook, once a week. (Thinking “every day” might be too much.)
However, I just can’t wait …
Here are the photos.
The first, taken yesterday, is Boo Kitty’s paw. He was extending and retracting his claws in pleasure as I rubbed his back. He was totally and completely *present* and in joy. That’s sacred.
The second, taken this evening, Saturday, Sept. 24th.
She and I looked at each other for five minutes, before a jogger-and-dog scared her away. Beyond words ….
I think I’m going to like this book.
RJM
Otter and seagull 9-7-11
I spent a few days in Monterey recently and, as is my habit when I’m there, one foggy morning I walked along the bike trail to Pacific Grove.
I climbed out onto the rocks at Lover’s Point and sat on a rock, seeking solitude. It was blissfully quiet; the splash of the waves and the occasional call of a bird were the only sounds.
As I looked out at the water, I noticed a seagull near some floating kelp. Soon I saw an otter surface near the gull, float on its back for a few moments, then disappear underwater. A minute or so later, it resurfaced — a few feet away from the gull, who paddled over to be near the otter.
Again, the otter floated and then disappeared, reappearing in a new spot. Again, the gull paddled over to hang out with the otter.
I watched this happen half a dozen times, and realized that they were playing a game! Hide-and-Seek? Tag?
Some otter-and-seagull game with a name I don’t know?
I laughed out loud, and then I thought, “Two different species, and they can ‘play nice’ together. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if people, regardless of their differences, would do the same?”
Just a thought ….
RJM
When Ethel and Kyle were married earlier this month, they not only planned a beautiful celebration for “their day,” but they also asked for continued blessings throughout their married life.
Honoring Ethel’s Filipino heritage during the ceremony, they chose “sponsors” to publicly commit to act as role models for the newly married couple. Ethel’s Aunt Carmelita and Kyle’s Uncle “Sharkey” were selected for this very important role.
At the appropriate point in the wedding ceremony, I invited Carmelita and Sharkey to stand near Ethel and Kyle, and I asked them:
“Sharkey and Carmelita, as wedding sponsors, do you commit yourselves to be a source of encouragement throughout the married lives of Kyle and Ethel? Do you promise to give the strength and wisdom to provide this couple with guidance to help them preserve the covenant they have made? Through your example, do you also promise to show them the importance of keeping their faith and an abiding love in each other?”
And before Kyle, Ethel and their community, Carmelita and Sharkey said “Yes!”
After the ceremony, Sharkey took me aside. With happy tears in his eyes, he told me that he and his wife were celebrating their 36th wedding anniversary that day! He clearly knows what it takes to keep a marriage strong and loving through challenges and good times.
Congratulations, Kyle and Ethel! May you enjoy every blessing in your married life!
